I just recently found that I have a special gift bestowed upon me by the sadistic fairy. I met someone who believed she had this when she was much younger but came to the realization that it was not actually a power she had. I unfortunately have been testing to see if this is a real gift one may be forced to possess. Unfortunately I have no evidence to the negative.

I have the unexplainable ability to see any and all scenarios except for that which will be. In short: I can't see the future. No matter how hard I try or how in depth I make each and every circumstance, I cannot see the future. I have tried to force the future, think the simple, make it happen,but it doesn't effing work.

Long story short, I'm fired because someone at the very top thought I was expendable and I could use a little humbling with a huge "FIRED" on my record just because he had no idea what my boss has been asking me to do. My boss told me he didn't want me to go and that I was what he wanted me to be. That's reassuring. It just REALLY sucks because I can't see where I'm going. At least YOU ALL can think, "I'll follow my dreams" or "it's going to be alright" and see a bright shiny future. When I see a bright shiny future, I put on my raincoat and pack some tissues, expecting the best, preparing for the worst. what if you don't know what the worst COULD be?! HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's what drove me to my journal in the first place! I thought the worst was finding out I was terrible at Arabic, failing the class getting kicked out of my university and living on the street corner. Right now, the worst is someone finding me, living near me, running out of money (as my two most lucrative sources of income are now completely non-existent), and finding a job that I can't afford to keep. I'm tired and almost out of hope. I'm never out of hope. That's my most endearing quality. I'm supposed to be the pillar of light everyone can look to for help here on earth. What happened?

I know I'm going to get a job. I know I'm going to be OK... but how many dreams do I have burn before my "OK" is really "OK". I wish something could just work out. I wish I could dream like everyone else. I wish I could just... grr...

I have a comic I draw every time something really crappy or annoying happens called, "officially normal" about a guy who works with undercover superheroes. He has no powers of his own but deals with life in his own way. It's like being handicapped in a normal world but he's just like us. I'll post it as soon as my stupid computer recognizes my scanner again.